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Self growth is about processing experiences and the stages of development and change. To understand the process and stages of developing a personal identity, of relationships, of grieving, healing and of 'letting go' is to gain the ability to define, enhance and/or grow from the experience itself.

Fate brings an array of persons and events into our lives while free will assists us in perceiving options and choices. If we fear making choices we become driven by fate and perceive our self to be a victim of circumstance. To be conscious of our choices empowers us in realizing how much control of our lives we really have, in terms of how we do something as well as what we do. This knowledge of self assists us in understanding and implementing our free will by making better choices.

Words are thoughts are feelings. Every word is a commitment to self characterization and/or actualization. We can learn a great deal of knowledge from and about our self simply by observing what we feel, think and say. Listening, to our self and to others, is the most important communication skill of all.

The first relationship we experience is with the mother. We learn through sensory modes while still in the womb. We have not yet discovered just how much we have learned by the time we are born. The more conscious and aware we become of this fact, the more enriching this relationship and time of growth will become.

The perception we have of our parents is our first and often lasting impression of how we define truth, love, balance, power and ultimately ourselves. To learn better partnership, marriage and parenting skills is the most important thing we can do to make the world a better place for the next generation.

Relationships should allow for the growth of the unit and each partner. If the growth of one inhibits or constricts the growth of the other, balance is not achieved and both individuals suffer. Fear is usually the basis for this type of suffering. Letting go of the fear is not often easy but does allow for the growth and fulfillment of the unit and each partner.

Self fulfillment of the individual and in the relationship are relatively new terms. We are only beginning to discover the capacities of the mind and our potential as human beings. As we move more in this direction, our pre-existing, subliminal knowledge of unity, joy and wholeness will become more actualized as individuals and in relationships.

The concept of the child within is a valid and under estimated thought. It is that inner joy that allows us to feel the depths of passion, compassion and peace of mind. These are not emotions to be feared, though they imply the feeling of pain and sorrow at equal depths of being. It is when we do not allow our self to feel or when our feelings are repressed that the child within is lost and so is our spiritual identity and/or union with others.